Just Weights

“Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall ye have.”
Leviticus 19:36a

It has come to my attention tonight through a conversation I shared with friends today how that my balances may be a little uneven. I may have too much of something good in one of my cups of measurement, so that it eclipses the other good I have measured in the other cup. A little confused? Well, I think I am, too, but let me try to explain.

See, I have some rose-colored glasses on when it comes to the ministry work of my past. I have some recollections of fond memories from the church I belonged to in America. I see those experiences through the romance of my time of love with my Savior—you know, those beginning fires baby Christians get when they first give their lives to Jesus. Those fires many of us, including myself, struggle to stoke again.

In Romania, I see the church I am a member of here through another set of glasses. A set filled with cracks and scratches that have developed from falling on the ground too many times and from simple wear and tear. I see my Romanian church experiences through a pair of these glasses, where even reality is distorted just a little bit toward the negative.

So where does this idea of an unjust weight come in? Well, I think I may have one experience on a pedestal where it does not belong, bringing this time of my church experiences in Romania down lower than it deserves to be. There are other things put on this pedestal, as well, but suffice it to say, I am left with a very unbalanced perspective. And my sin in this? Well, perhaps this imbalance has given my heart over to worshipping an idol of sorts. The idol of “an ideal church” filled with “ideal people.” And this idol has been preventing me from falling in love with the people in this church as I ought. But most importantly, it has limited my fellowship with and love for my Savior Who needs to be the just measure from which all things are weighed anyway.

All I’m saying is, I was humbled tonight that perhaps I am a little off balance. That my vision needs to be healed. That my weights need to be remeasured.

Father, as the new year approaches, clear my vision, and help me get my balances right, so I may learn everything You have for me as this year ends and the new one begins.

Vietnam (Spring 2000)