Friday, July 19, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Belong

For as long as I can remember, I had always wanted my own family. I think it was an outgrowth of not having the “perfect” childhood … who does. But there were some unique trials in my growing up that did two things to me. Before Christ leading my life, it was a rejection of the traditional marriage and family. I was going to be a career woman and that was that. I was allergic to men, I told myself. It made me feel okay with such a strong rejection of what I thought was expected of me. But then, the age of 23 hit, and I knew I was making bad choices. Stupid choices and dangerous choices. I knew this was wrong and I became to feel it like a two-ton weight on my back. I yearned for wholeness. For healing. For clear-headedness on life.

Everything seemed so confusing and monumental, and not in a good way, and I craved peace.

And that’s when it changed. I looked up instead of out. I yielded upward, my life, my choices, my future, and for the first time, I began to feel a sense of belonging. A church family helped that. My own relatives guided me toward that destination. Jesus decided to give me a heart’s desire for a husband and family. Only, instead of trusting in His perfect timing and plans, I had my own idea of how it was to happen.

But He gently nudged me in the right direction.

Sibiu, Romania (December 2005)


Anonymous said...

My mother in law always says "God's timing is perfect". It's not always easy to see it in the moment though, is it?

Denise said...

glad you shared.

Dolly@Soulstops said...

Hi Cassandra,
I did some digging and found your site...Thanks for sharing your back story...I always love to hear what God has done in a person's life...our childhood does shape us in so many ways...I am still sorting things out...blessings :)

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