Five Minute Friday: Belong

For as long as I can remember, I had always wanted my own family. I think it was an outgrowth of not having the “perfect” childhood … who does. But there were some unique trials in my growing up that did two things to me. Before Christ leading my life, it was a rejection of the traditional marriage and family. I was going to be a career woman and that was that. I was allergic to men, I told myself. It made me feel okay with such a strong rejection of what I thought was expected of me. But then, the age of 23 hit, and I knew I was making bad choices. Stupid choices and dangerous choices. I knew this was wrong and I became to feel it like a two-ton weight on my back. I yearned for wholeness. For healing. For clear-headedness on life.

Everything seemed so confusing and monumental, and not in a good way, and I craved peace.

And that’s when it changed. I looked up instead of out. I yielded upward, my life, my choices, my future, and for the first time, I began to feel a sense of belonging. A church family helped that. My own relatives guided me toward that destination. Jesus decided to give me a heart’s desire for a husband and family. Only, instead of trusting in His perfect timing and plans, I had my own idea of how it was to happen.

But He gently nudged me in the right direction.

Sibiu, Romania (December 2005)