Beautiful in Its Time

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.”—Ecclesiastes 3:11

Ali'i Kula Lavendar Farm 
Kula, Maui (Feb 2016)

It’s time to begin again. It’s time to share the insights God graciously gives me as I read His Word. It’s time I glorify His working in my life with all its highs, lows, and everything in between. It’s time for me to worship Him. To enjoy Him. To magnify Him. 

And humble myself.

For as John wrote: “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). Lord, please help this verse cover the words of this blog.

It's time I do this again out loud. Or in writing, as this particular case may be.

You see, after 609 days (I just can’t believe that!), I have taken a step in faith to begin this blog again. What was supposed to be a summer break in 2014 became a one-year-and-eight-month break. In the last few months, I have begun to feel the tug on my spirit by His Spirit to begin this again.

Trusting this pull, perhaps He is saying to me, it’s time for me to make your words beautiful again. Beautiful in the sense that strangers, friends, and family will be able to share in my walk with the Lord as they read my journal-like devotions. They will see the beauty of His Word applied to just one life in His great mosaic of created beings. And in that seeing, they will also enjoy the beauty He has for them individually.

So, let this be my first post of many to come after my long break. I hope you join me on this journey, and I hope you are blessed by what you read. 

The Way Everlasting

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”—Psalms 139:23-24

This isn't the first time I have opened a devotion with this verse. But I prayed this the other day, and I wanted to share with you how God has answered that prayer so far. I am always a bit reluctant to pray this prayer or even sing this song during a church invitation, as I want it to be an honest prayer of my heart, and if it is an honest prayer of my heart, I am then afraid of what may be coming down the road for me as answers. Nevertheless, I felt led of the Lord to ask Him to search me, to try me, and then to lead me into His right ways. Today, on the other side of that prayer, I can honestly share with you that I am glad I prayed this. It is a humbling prayer to pray to God because with it, He will cut through the vanity and pride that we crowd our hearts with, and get to the bottom of sins that plague us.

It doesn't have to be an overwhelming flood of corrections and trials to bear fruit. His answer to this prayer may be quieter, and in His mercy, just between Him and you. I believe it is in the latter way that God has brought His answers to my prayer this week. Using the little trials that expose areas in my walk with God that He would like to refine, He has showed me a couple of areas that I need to keep in mind that He is God and that I need Him in every moment of every day. Even though I may be quite capable in the worldly sense of the word, I need to understand that I am really not capable at all, in light of His power, strength, and protection.

The first lesson of the week was that I let a computer virus into my work laptop. It was totally my fault. I knew better, but I was tricked. Of course, I did this on Monday, the start of my week. My Microsoft Outlook email program alone is a treasured asset that I use every day, and I currently do not even have access to that. All I do, that I would normally use Outlook for, such as a distribution list to send out job openings, I have to do from scratch now without my wonderful Outlook contact lists. This doesn't even get into the inconvenience of not being able to have access to the thousands of files that I may need to answer any given question that may come my way. Put it simply, I was bummed. So bummed that I took out some of my frustration on my precious daughter.

Thus, lesson number two. I did not control my temper as well as I could have when my daughter was so whiny (more than usual, I need to add, which is why I believe God used this to test me). I did not respond to her as I wished. I feel so guilty about this because I know over the years God has used many circumstances to draw out my temper problem. A wise preacher shared with me that God does help us overcome our particular sins, and just when we think we've got it handled, that we have gotten the victory, we may get puffed up about it as if somehow it was ourselves and not God who has overcome our sin. In those cases, He may need to draw out our particular sins from time to time in order that we have a healthy respect that it is God who helps us with our sins, not our own efforts. If left to ourselves, we would never overcome our sinful natures.

So, what have I learned about myself after praying Psalms 139:23-24?

In the first lesson of a virus destroying my work laptop, I believe God mainly wanted to test my trust in Him. To know that in the coming days and weeks of this inconvenience, He is in control and that He will provide many ways for me to get through this situation. I just need to rest in Him, trust in Him, and to pray to Him for wisdom to get around the difficulties of not having ready access to my old computer and files.

As for the second lesson on my anger problem, I believe God was testing me so that He could show me again, that this part of my sin nature is always present. And while I may have many victories in this area, I still need Him every day to help me get through my time here on earth without sinful anger and its consequences.

The reason why I can write this to you today in gratitude and with a prayer that it may encourage you, is because both of these situations came with God's precious Romans 8:28 closure. In the case of my computer laptop, I will still have access to my old Outlook as well as my valuable work-related (and even personal) documents. While that alone is a huge relief, I am also getting a brand new laptop, this one that will be at least 10 times better than my other one. Wow! What a great gift!

And in the case with my precious daughter, later that same evening I didn't handle myself as I wanted toward her, she crawled up into my arms, laid tummy down across my chest, and placed her head on my shoulder for several minutes, as I lovingly rubbed her back and basked in the love that only a child can give a mother. It was forgiveness in its most basic form.

Thank You, Jesus. Thank You for searching me, trying me, and then guiding me into the way everlasting. But most of all, thank You for loving me and answering my prayers.

 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that l've God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”—Romans 8:28

A beautiful spring view from a window in my home.
(Spokane, WA) 

Job's Vulnerability

“And he sat down among the ashes.”—Job 2:8b

Job was not scared to be vulnerable with God. His thoughts, his words, and his actions seem to regularly come from a vulnerable place when I read his story. His relationship with God was natural—truer and deeper than anything I have personally experienced.

I think of my fleshly vessel, how I often placate it, nourish it with treats, and give it pleasure at the cost of my walk with God. When it comes to my spirit, I starve it and put it in a corner to be avoided, so hopefully God will not see what I am doing to it. (How foolish!)

Job seemed to surrender to the events of his life with such painful grace. I do not think it was easy for him, which is why I believe he is mentioned in Scripture with high praise along with Noah and Daniel, as men who could only save themselves (and not anyone else) with their own righteousness, if that were possible. (Ezekiel 14:14)

I do not think he rebelled. He did question God’s reasons behind allowing all the bad things to happen, and he did feel sorry for himself. But he came forth as gold because, for one thing, he fed his spirit with the things of God prior to his world turning upside down. His relationship with God was on solid ground, and when Job needed to rest on his faith, he had a mountain of spiritual strength behind him to lean upon. This strength did not come from him, but from the One he had a relationship with, His Savior.

I believe if we nourished our spiritual life with Christ regularly, we would live a full and abundant life, despite the circumstances that come our way. I believe we would have an honest and natural relationship with Christ, in which we could approach Him from our places of vulnerability, just as Job did. I believe our daily activities would be clothed with the heavenly and the view of the world around us would be grounded in the Bible.

Life is not black and white. There is much grey in the in between moments that make up our lifetimes. We do not live in perfection here on earth. Job did not either. He had much to repent of at the end of his story. But what he did right, I believe, was he had a close relationship with God before, during and after his great trial.

Truly, God filled his cup.

  

Fill my cup, Lord;

I lift it up Lord;

Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.

Bread of Heaven, feed me till I want no more.

Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

From “Fill My Cup, Lord” by Richard Blanchard

Taken in Harmony, CA.

He Washes Our Feet

“Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God; He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.”—John 13:3-5

I have been meditating on this topic for over two weeks now, believing that this was to be the subject of my next devotion. Time got away from me, though, and what I probably should have written a while ago, I’m only getting to today. I kept thinking, “How am I going to approach this section of Scripture that just shouts from the housetops that Jesus loves us so very much? How can I share with others what has affected me profoundly, when I don’t even have the ability to express all the riches and depth of knowledge I receive from this portion of Scripture? Lord, will You help me?”

And so, I begin to read this passage again and notice very quickly how Jesus had all things in His possession, as well as knew Who He was and where He was going. He draws me to Himself with His cords of love here because He knows He is God, and yet, He humbles Himself to serve His disciples. Since I am His and a disciple, I believe this is like saying He humbles Himself to serve me.

So, does that mean He lays aside His garments, girds Himself with a towel, pours water into a basin and begins to wash my feet, today? I say, absolutely, in a Spiritual sense. I believe Jesus is in Heaven caring so very much about me and my walk in this life. He cares about my sanctification and growth in Him and from time to time He “washes” my feet. He gently and directly goes to the source of what’s making my attitude, my choices, and my thoughts filthy, and cleans it away. Then I begin, again, to walk on this road of life, and He’s there waiting for me to yield to Him “my feet” for the next cleansing that will most certainly be needed. Did not Peter even have to realize that the cleansing cannot come unless we surrender ourselves to Him?

I can’t look at this section of Scripture and not see His overwhelming love and humility toward us, and how that by His example, we are to have the same mind toward others.

“If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.—John 13:14-16

Lord, this is just my small take-a-way from such a glorious passage. Please give those that read this Scripture something uniquely for them. Please show them clearly, just how much you love them, too. In Your Precious and Wonderful Name, Amen. 

Budapest, Hungary
(January 2005)

Forgetting the One Who Made Us Beautiful

“Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? 
Yet my people have forgotten me days without number.” 
Jeremiah 2:32

When God looks at us in relationship with Him, He sees Himself as the adorning of women. The beauty we lack, the added garments that enhance, and the jewelry that decorates. I hope I continue to see my God in this way. I hope my heart will not become like the heart of Israel in Jeremiah’s time, whose back was to her God. Who forgot God’s wonders when He parted the Red Sea, fed her Manna in the wilderness, and led her through the valley of the shadow of death. Instead, she said to a tree, “Thou art my father; and to a stone, Thou hast brought me forth.” 

I know I often think that those things my flesh finds attractive are more beautiful than my God. I think my successes are clothed in my own righteousness-my own “beauty.” When this happens, I need to remember to turn around and look at Him. And when I do, He will clothe me with Himself, and I will be as lovely as a bride on her wedding day.

Stehekin, WA (October 2010)

Returning to Our Place

“And he said unto him, Oh let not the Lord be angry.”

Genesis 18:30a

“And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord.”

Genesis 18:31a

“And he said, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak yet this once.

Genesis 18:32a

These three passages show Abraham’s shame in his persistence before God, but not his shyness or indifference before God’s throne. What a picture of intercession. I know God wants His people to be humble before Him in prayer—there is just no room for pride before His throne—and yet there is also no room for indifference and inaction.

I believe I have held a lie in my heart about how to squelch my pride before God and that has been inaction on my part. I thought to myself, if I don’t embark on those areas of my life that puff me up, then somehow I am more spiritual. I don’t believe this anymore. Something has changed in my heart since I yielded my writing to Him a little while back. That’s not to say I am free from my pride when writing, but that I am willing to let God use my writing while He works with me on my pride.

So how does this tie into this reading on prayer? Abraham’s prayer was filled with humility and action. He feared the LORD in the correct way by honoring His divine character but not in the fleshly way that leads to inaction (or indifference) on our parts.

The result was a sweet communion with God and a conscious remembrance and knowledge of his place before Him.

Beautiful.

“And the LORD went his way, as soon as he had left communing with Abraham: And Abraham returned unto his place.”—Genesis 18:33

Rupea, Romania. (2005)

Who Did Hinder You?

“Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?”—Galatians 5:7

This verse is a gentle rebuke of how I allow the lies of the devil to pierce through my heart and diminish my love for my Savior. I feel as though I not only allow his lies to affect my walk, but also the cares of this world and my own flesh to hinder me from the freedom that is in Christ Jesus.

The cares of this world choke the fruits of God’s Spirit, like weeds choke out the beauty of a once thriving and healthy garden. My own fleshly complacency in tending to my love for my Savior has probably been the biggest factor, though, as it is truly weak by laziness and not really liking to hear God’s rebukes no matter how tender He is with me.

How easy is it for all of us to turn from the truths of God to the lies of Satan? I hate that it is very easy, especially when we walk in the flesh. I would so much rather hear the praises of men, than the gentle whispers of God’s correction.

I keep bringing up this idea of listening to the devil’s lies because I think this is from whence many of our paths get off course. One lie and then another, and slowly, our Christian life becomes a shell of what it once was.

For example, I can easily believe Satan’s lie that God only tells me what I am doing wrong never what I am doing right. God just criticizes me. So, why listen to Him at all? God will ask too much of me or what He asks will be just too unbearable. I have to remind myself all those thoughts are lies.  In fact, it is only through God’s correction that I am liberated from bondage to those things that hinder my walk with Him.

Thankfully, I believe God has given me the strength to stay the course in one area of my Christian life: Bible reading. I continue to read His Word regularly, only occasionally missing a day. I firmly believe I am not equipped or complete without His truth guiding me through the various lies the devil throws at me, as well as the lies my flesh simply likes to entertain.

Oh, Lord, so much hinders me. I’m so sorry. Please help me to recognize any of those hindrances, help me in my weaknesses and remove far from me those things that will hurt me, hurt others, and make my relationship with you less than what it should be.

Ayutthaya, Thailand (2000)

Near Unto Him

"A people near unto him."

Psalm 148:14

"A people near unto him," that is, near unto our blessed Savior. In these five words, there is so much dew from heaven. Is there not salve in this portion of God's word for those who think they're alone? For those needing someone to talk to? For those needing to know what it feels like to have someone love them perfectly?

He loves His people, and because I am saved, I know that I am one of His and, therefore, can also lay hold to the truth that I am included as one of those near unto Him.

However, I know that if I willingly sin against Him, my spirit will not be near unto Him. I know His nearness to me will always be the same, but my own fellowship, my own closeness to Him, will suffer if there is sin between me and my Lord.

So, Lord Jesus, You know my sins, and You know those things that need confession. I ask You, then, to help me in humbling my flesh to receive any correction and exposure to sin I need so that I may lay those sins down at Your feet and receive all the benefits of being a person near unto You.

(Originally written September 15, 2004)

Tescan, Romania (May 2005)

Tears unto God

“Mine eye poureth out tears unto God.”
Job 16:20b

O Lord, thank You for letting us do this to You. Thank You for the joy You bring as You carry us through. Thank You for the times of sadness, where we press, as it were, our faces toward You, letting our sorrows fill Your throne room. O Lord, let Your throne be a repository of all our tears and all our joys. Let Your throne be a place where we can lay bare our most secret thoughts, our inner most desires, and our sins. Only there Lord is a place of the most profound peace. Take my face, Lord. Cup it into Your hands, and let me, I pray thee, cherish every moment, every tear, and every smile that is placed within Your palm. Let me rest a while. Let me love a while. Let my sinful flesh be put aside for the briefest moment in which I can cast away all my pretenses, all my fears, and let You wipe away every single tear. O, my God of Heaven. O lover of my soul. How deep is Your love, my water brook.

Tescan, Romania (May 2005)

Walk Worthy

“… walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Ephesians 4:1-3

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Ephesians 4:29

Yesterday and today have been darkened by many discouraging thoughts. As those thoughts came up, I would pray, “Lord, give me grace for help in this time of need” and “I ask for your peace Lord.” I, then, would quote, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto to you: not as the world giveth, give I unto to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27)

And so, even this morning, as I cry out to my Lord because of a particular burden to my soul about my church and my failings in my walk with Him, I can sense His grace, His love for me, settling my heart, and, I believe, communicating with me and telling me a few things about how to approach this particular hurt in my heart about the way this church of mine in Romania proceeds.

First, I believe He said to me in a still small voice that this is my church, and whatever the problem I may be having with it may be, it is mine. With that in mind, He revealed to me that I am a part of this church and that I am to try and make it work like a marriage.

So, this is where the above verses to this devotion fit in. I forgive and forbear, all in love. Whatever issue with this or that person grates on my nerves or raises my cackles, I am to forbear, to be longsuffering, to love, and to lead by example.

And then, the last thing I want to mention is how I am supposed to use my words, letting no corrupt thing escape my lips, but only words that are good, to be used for edification, so they may minister grace unto the hearers.

I am supposed to have a beautiful mouth.

All this, again, reinstates this idea that I am to lead by example. To grow in my own walk, not to point out what I see are the faults of others. In that growth process, as much as my example follows the Lord Jesus Christ, I will, then, lead by example.

Jesus, help me to have a good example in front of others “with all lowliness and meekness” (emphasis mine). You can use it to strengthen the unity of Your Spirit in our church, in Your bond of peace. Oh, my, Lord, Jesus Christ, I am weak and beggardly in the face of this task, and I ask that You be the strength in my weakness that the task at hand will be used for Your glory.

(Originally written on November 21, 2005, in response to my discouragement in the church I joined in Romania. To give an honest background, this church was in large part a ministry to the Romanian Gypsies, who are a culture so different than my own. I was simply struggling to love them as I should. I have great respect to the Morgan Family, who have been missionaries to this largely unreached population. A lot of mission-fields are challenging, and I got to experience first-hand the challenges of working with the poor and Gypsy population in the town I lived while I was in the Peace Corps.)

Rupea, Romania (August 2005)

Psalm 91:1, 4a

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty … He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust.”Psalm 91:1, 4a

God bless the child whose upward leaning hastens to view Jesus Christ as the person under whose shadow she abides protected. Not only that, but if the child of God seeks after the covering of Christ’s wings, she will be truly blessed. God asks that we trust in Him. How many worried nights would depart from us if we truly trusted in our God?

Imagine this scene. “Trust me,” He says. “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.” And listen to how He calls us. “I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.” It’s when we truly hear our Lord and fold our wings under His care, that He brings us under His shadow for divine protection. He blesses us with all spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus. He covers us with His feathers. But listen - “And under his wings shalt thou trust.”

Jesus is not asking us to “go it alone.” No friend. He’s asking us to trust Him under His loving protection. And in that trusting, He feeds us, clothes us, and fulfills His desires for us.

Sibiu, Romania (December 2005)